Does recognition matter anymore?
I was once told by a research scientist that human beings are simply awful at “metacognition.” He was right. It’s difficult to think about how you think. That’s why tools that reveal to us something about what’s going on within are so impressive. On some level, we’ve had clues to our thinking patterns all along. But hearing them in a way we can understand sparks both awareness and awe in a powerful way.
For years I’ve been helping leaders take baby steps to improve their team and organizational culture. Just about every workplace, family, and neighborhood could use some support in the field of recognition, but most leaders completely miss the value of recognition. It matters to give and receive specific praise, no matter where you work, how long you’ve been there, or your existing intimacy with colleagues. Despite what the generation before yours wants to say about your lack of grit, you are not showing up to work (or life) for the gold stars, trophies and Starbucks gift cards, and neither is your team. Our deep human need for recognition comes from the very root of the word “recognize.” I see you. I see something about you. I see value, and I care enough about your future potential to reveal that value to you.
Recognition, when done right, is the greatest seed we can plant today to thrive alongside our teammates tomorrow. And here’s why…
Just like we struggle to think about how we think, it’s even more challenging to conceive of the impact we have outside of ourselves. Like hearing your voice on recording for the first time, when your talents come back to you as statements of your influence, it’s a reminder that you are living from your own lens, missing the experience others have of you. And it’s not your fault–it’s simply impossible to see.
This week a very close friend and colleague of mine thanked me for believing in him. He told me I had given him confidence in his craft at a pivotal moment in his career, and that my influence changed the course of his life. I thought I’d been a good partner, but I had to insist that it wasn’t a conscious decision to believe in his ability more than others had before. I simply treated him like I fully trusted his skills, talent, and opinions.
“Recognition isn’t about celebrating what we are getting. It’s about learning what we are giving. ”
After that, I hopped onto another call where a client mentioned the life-altering impact my work contributions had on her, a point that I also had to step back from in disbelief.
Recognition matters, but it’s not about what we are getting. The value in conscious recognition is it teaches us what we are giving. When you are working from a true place of talent, recognition matters even more because you likely underestimate the importance, intricacy, or reliance others have on what you bring, simply because it comes so naturally to you.
Our workplace is increasingly reliant not on productivity or industrial improvement, but on smarter thinking and more compassionate leadership. Especially in professional fields, we leaders will wrestle with how to quantify and reward great work in new, more flexible ways than simply counting and tracking the input. The most thoughtful among us will be faced with the difficult task of believing there is value in what they bring, especially when it is something they bring with ease. When they bring that perspective, with ease, in a way they also enjoy, it can be extra tough to believe it’s worth earning your paycheck. Women who think they have to earn value through sweat and tears and holding up the ceiling for others, I see you.
Our world needs to grasp the transition away from elbow grease, toward finesse and sophisticated thinking. We need teams that understand their greatest contribution is not going to come from how hard they work, but how well they know and harness the natural talent others look to them for, whether they know it or not. These show up in being able to name their own quickest way to solve a problem, clarify the reason a goal matters, and quickly call upon specific individuals to support them in well-informed areas of expertise. The time for clocking hours is gone. The real value is in the end result, and your ability to get there creatively in a way you own, a way you can rely upon, and a way that you enjoy enough to integrate your wellbeing and your workplace. We have to start working in a way that is sustainable on our energy, so that we want to come back and do it even better next time.
Start today by naming what you appreciate in someone’s contribution. Not sure how? Remember “TIP.”
Talent: What are they doing that you’d like more of?
Impact: How is their contribution changing your experience?
Potential: How will the future be improved if this person was just 10% more effective at what they’re already doing well?
Example: One teacher knew her next-door teaching colleague hated the spotlight, but noticed she had a collection of hand-written cards in her drawer. So she wrote this:
“I so appreciate how easily you make our new students feel at home. Even those who belong in my classroom seem so quickly drawn to your warmth. Thank you for being so at ease with all of our students. It makes it easier for me to start my day with a smile. Our future is friendlier with you.”
As with anything worth having, great recognition does not happen by accident. Make it a habit to recognize. Dedicate a time of the week, or set a goal you can track. It matters, because you matter. It matters, because our future depends on it.
