Sometimes we romanticize the change as an invitation to get completely out of whatever loop you’re stuck in. But what happens when quitting the job, ending the relationship, or unbecoming responsible isn’t an option? What happens to your strengths when the challenge must be met for real?

No one trusts a salesperson who claims their product is for everyone. No one markets a movie to every demographic. But far too often, a leader’s introduction into strengths ends at the initial dopamine hit of the feel-good descriptors of their talent. Ideally, naming and claiming who you are comes with the courage to discard labels or expectations where you will not excel. But that takes patience and permission, and far too often, we don’t go all the way through the exercise of self-awareness.

Wendy was convinced she needed better boundaries. But first, we had to care for her margins.