Do you have what it takes to lead?
“What are the skills of a great leader?”
I promise, someone you know is asking this. Maybe it’s disguised as self-doubt (Do I have the right strengths?). Maybe it’s showing up as a deliverable in your development department (How do we teach competencies?). Maybe it’s living in the career planning conversations (What do I even want out of this life?).
“In the most of you lies the best of you.”
If a skill is something you can acquire and polish, not just something you naturally exude, then yes, there is such a thing as leadership skillz. And when I consider commonalities among the greatest leaders, both in my experience and research, they capture a combination of skill and mindset–both of which can be intentionally improved. In fact, the following framework won’t just summarize great leadership. It will help you show up in greater alignment with your own goals and talents immediately.
I come from a long line of huggers. We like touch. We are quick to open our arms, and appreciate the deep connection of a committed embrace. But I know we are rare…so if this invades your personal bubble even intellectually, good. You’ll remember it.
HUG.
H: Humility
Great leaders know who they are not, and they leave that baggage at the door. Rather than carrying around changes of suits so they can put on personas other than their own, they name their non-talents and focus their energy elsewhere. Just like you underestimate the value of your natural strengths, you likely overestimate your capability in areas that are a stretch beyond natural.
Do you feel anxious before showing up a certain way, and exhausted after? Do you have to stop yourself and set intentional reminders of how to behave or think in certain situations? Chances are if you’ve been relatively successful thus far, and aren’t harming anyone around you, these areas of non-talent are not going to be what elevates your effectiveness. Set them down. Look for partners. Stop raising your hand. If you’re faking it until you feel it, stop faking and start delegating.
U: Understanding
Perhaps your most important job as a leader is to constantly promote clarity of understanding. Start from the reality that every single person has a different perspective on any one concept. Invite open dialogue without judgement. Pay attention to the environment you create–especially to any potential threats that would shut down understanding. This means you show up like any great coach or teacher would, acknowledging the emotion of even the shortest meeting and taking care of people’s readiness to communicate.
Understanding requires the learnable skill of feedback, and the awareness to distinguish between feedback and insult. Feedback is clear communication about the action, how it impacted you or others, and what you hope to see more or less of in the future. Insults are about the character of the person doing the action. A lack of feedback, especially when someone would benefit from a change in behavior, can quickly default into an insult. What’s true about mold is true about feedback–if you leave it in the dark, it grows into something bigger and more complex. (And usually a little gross.)
G: Grace
You are abundantly capable. Period.
Offer yourself the appreciation of your own humanity by knowing your abundant gifts. Acknowledge you are flawed, and accept the transformative power of talents where you are “too much.”
In the most of you lies the best of you.
Your strengths are your access to courage. You don’t have to be brave in all things. But you should know where you can deliver excellence, and when called upon, own it. Chances are you fail at appreciating just how shiny your talents are. That’s okay–you can investigate this like you would any problem. Ask yourself where you find joy, where you lose track of time, what you most look forward to repeating. Ask your friends what they know they can count on you for. Ask your coworkers to describe the value they see in your talents–where you do things faster, brighter, or more energetically than they could imagine doing.
Defining and refining your leadership style is an exercise in grace, and a powerful asset to the collaboration of any team. Consider working with a coach to pay careful attention not to the WHAT of your role, but to the HOW.
How do you build trust?
How do you solve complex problems?
How do you inspire, motivate, and challenge people?
How do you show up when you’re stressed?
How do you recharge?
The best of you then becomes your plan for future growth…a humble and grace-filled admission that you are limited in the breadth of excellence you can offer. And that’s a darn good thing, because it holds the promise of focused, specific, infinite talent.
So if you’re looking for your next leadership development opportunity, look no further than your own backyard (thanks, Dorothy). Your level-up is shedding who you are not, constantly working to improve communication, and embracing what might be possible if you were twice as good at what you already do well.
