No, actually the journey is not the destination.

Tell me about the New World, not the ship I’ll be sailing to get there.

Know the difference between where you are going and how you are getting there. Fall too far in love with the process and risk losing the whole thing.

Sales is support. Leadership is context.  If you get lost in how much you love your product or your process, you miss the opportunity for either.

A large global company recently asked me for help.  They wanted what they called a “moonshot” experience, someone to help their leaders break free from their commitment to the way things had been, and truly reimagine their operating systems.  

I could see this was a change management initiative, but our proposal suggested no change curve, no philosophy of behavioral adoption.

I knew individual conversations with coaches, ideally with CliftonStrengths as a support tool, would greatly influence the trust and creativity of the group.  But our proposal made no mention of “strengths coaching.”

I incorporated plenty of touchpoints into the journey that I knew would potentially derail the entire initiative, simply because the experience and confidence of those in charge may lead toward different tools.  But I didn’t prep my partners on why those parts were important. Because you know what?  They aren’t. 

To truly support people through something meaningful, you have to stop selling, and start supporting.  Then, you have to stop selling again, because chances are you really weren’t done selling the first time.

As an executive coach, I have the privileged opportunity to glimpse inside the minds and guts of truly exceptional leaders.  Some leaders claw their way to the top, through grit and effort and discipline they create a career where they are calling the shots and making the big bucks.  But some seem to float there naturally.  They’re the ones who are in charge from the moment they step into the room.  This is about more than just the difference of how their strengths show up. You can be the floating leader through influencing strengths, but you can just as easily make that happen through your attention to detail, your thoughtful questioning, or your compassionate awareness of the people around you.  What the natural leader considers on purpose (not necessarily naturally) is how they can support. 

And this goes for top sales leaders too.  They stop selling you and start getting to know you.  

Sales as Support

My favorite sales training is the 3-minute clip from Wolf of Wall Street, where Leo DiCaprio demonstrates how to sell a pen.  Contrasting the approach his colleague took to highlight the features and benefits of the fountain pen, Leo simply asks the customer to sign a paper.  As the customer fumbles across his chest pocket looking for something to write with, Leo uncurls his fingers, palm up, fountain ink on display. “Wanna buy a pen?” 

Yes, it’s a sales tactic. And the common theme here between sales and leadership is the discipline to zoom out.  A leader demonstrating Sales as Support doesn’t get hijacked by love of the pen.  They look for the problem the customer is trying to solve, and offer their product as a shortcut toward the solution.

In the example of the aforementioned moonshot proposal, we embodied both Sales as Support and Leadership is Context by helping the client explore what they ultimately were asking for.  They weren’t looking for a team-building exercise.  They weren’t looking for anything strengths-based or weakness-based. They were looking to blow up their normal ways of working and rebuild them from creativity and innovation.  

So when my partner challenged me to remove the CliftonStrengths coaching pre-session, realizing it escalated the price and doubting the executives involved would show up for a call about their strengths, I offered an alternative.  It went something like this:

“Do they really need CliftonStrengths coaching calls?  That seems a bit silly.”

“No, they don’t.  But they need to show up to these leadership retreats primed for creativity and collaboration. They need the self-awareness to name their ideal role when it comes to promoting innovation, and the accountability to fuel their best creative self.”  

So the coaching sessions stayed, not because they were about Strengths.  But because they offered a support tool to the ultimate goal.  And quite honestly, as a compassionate leader and supportive advisor, I was ready to ditch them if the client had another idea they were more likely to deploy that would get us to the same outcome. If I had been so committed to only one vessel getting me across the sea, I might never have seen the new world on the other side.  And to follow that image, I hope my vacation photos are about the magnificence of what I discover when traveling to a new land, not just how cushy my living quarters were on the boat. 

Leadership is Context

By design, leaders should not be blinded by the urgent or immediate challenge.  They must care for their own book of business with enough distance that they can peel back without damaging the bottom line.  This is crucial because it helps them focus on their unique role requirement: offering perspective to others.  Leadership is context.  It’s knowing where we are going, which obstacles and milestones along the way are non-negotiable, and which are simply style.  It’s focusing clearly and objectively on the end result, and letting go of how people individually get there. 

Explain the what, not the how.  That’s so cute. And so hard to do, especially when you’ve been promoted to leadership through a trail of demonstrated expertise.  Make the shift by first finding some context for yourself (you might need a coach to help with this part). Reframe the work, either by taking a broader timeline view, changing the available budget, or placing yourself at a birds-eye level.  Notice what the ultimate goal is, and find a way to measure it objectively.  What can you rate, rank, sort, or count?  

Next, identify the key experiences that someone who hadn’t yet done this task might need to learn in the pursuit of the goal.  If it’s something you have done before, which challenges did you experience, and what did you learn?  The important part here is the learning, not the challenges–those will be different for everyone.

And just so you feel comfortable letting go of your grip, analyze the situation for any potential threat, either to safety of client or customer, economic risk, or relationship breakdown.  Flag those in your mind, and if necessary, steer your employee clear of them as they progress on their journey. 

Then what?  Well then…get out.  Use your perspective-gaining exercise to scan for how much you truly need to have an opinion on how your people are solving the problems before them.  They will get more from you believing in them and leaving them alone than they will from you steering the ship around every obstacle.  Know the difference between brand promise (the what) and individual style (the how) and stay away from style.  That’s not yours to own.

We’ve combined two big and important ideas today: Sales and Leadership. Both can be won in the short term by power and ownership.  But if you opt for a more sophisticated approach, both create an abundance of opportunity.  Believe this: there is enough good work to be done, and enough good people to do the work.  The better you are at inspiring the individual style of others, then supporting their journey–the more space you create for contribution.  And if that’s your practice, you make room for everyone to win.  

Two tickets for that boat trip, please.

Click to download your own copy of this helpful reminder. Ask yourself: Is this crucial? Or is this style?