Remote Work Musts: Don’t leave this behind when you leave the office
The office used to help build trust for you. Now and into the future, you must cultivate and care for human connection, or lose it forever. And no matter your industry, the trust created through connection is truly all you have to offer your customer.
When I began my job as a professional consultant, I didn’t have a smartphone. I drove 10 minutes to my office building and parked my burgundy Honda Accord in the third row from the back of the lot. Before I even had an idea of what the day held, I smiled and waved at at least a dozen people who shared my morning commute time–a few in the parking lot as we walked in, the two receptionists and security guards, and the early risers who ate breakfast in the lobby cafeteria. At the end of the day, I turned off my computer and left it in my office. I remember buying a Blackberry while on the road visiting a client, and how thrilling and comforting it was to be able to check my messages before I felt like I was “at work.”
To give you a sense of how quickly things change, I’m relatively young. Not only do I remember clearly a workplace defined by the physical commute, I also grew up with Fraggle Rock and the rise of boy bands. But workers who were in preschool while I was learning the corporate experience have already rewritten what that experience is. And before the next major upgrade to smartphones hits the charging station in your bedroom, the majority of working adults will have no history of a 5-day, in-office workweek.
I am a fan of remote work. In fact, I like to think of myself as someone who did it before it was cool. It opens floods of possibility for access to talent, creativity, inclusion and efficiency. But only if you build the emotional container of trust and connection with the same rigor and investment you put into your broadband connection. Without that, your employees can be employed anywhere, and many of them might even be working multiple jobs from the flexible comfort of their own home office.
We need a fast and new solution to a problem that has been growing slowly for a very long time. Leaders likely don’t realize just how much of their job was being done for them through sheer proximity. When being at work meant breathing the same oxygen as your peers, the temptation to hide our bad days or selectively curate our good ones wasn’t even a threat we knew we had the option of facing. The default for remote work is selective communication. It’s the grown up equivalent of social media–be who you want others to see you being. The solution is not to bring everyone into the office. It’s to show up authentically no matter the location. That means managers (because they have so much extra time and energy) are now expected to be more than boss and coach. They also have to be hosts–professional facilitators of trust.
But there’s hope. The time you do spend in-person has a half-life all its own. Meet on purpose. Share time and attention (and food). Solve problems, sure. But most importantly, create a safe container for people to show who they are. A great in-person experience creates a messy ball of yarn for your team. They get to see who the contributors are, how they tick, and where they connect. Then as they return home, they each hold onto their end of the string. Their manager becomes the extension of that string, checking in regularly on process, performance, and the half-life of emotional connection.
I recently had the privilege of hosting an executive leadership team at their first off-site in four years. The usual grumbling you can expect from busy, high-demand professionals was on full display as they traveled and checked into their hotel rooms. But before we even had lunch on day one, their longing for connection and attention was palpable. By the end of day two during closing comments, one leader was brave and comfortable enough to say out loud what many had felt but not put words to, “We need to recognize the loneliness and isolation many of us were bringing into this room. I’m thankful we shared this space, and I know we will carry it with us in how we treat each other in the future.”
Do you really need a fancy off-site and a professional outside facilitator? Well, yes. Yes you do. More on that later. In addition, here’s how to prioritize human connection while working remotely:
Communicate your logic.
Never assume people know exactly where you are coming from. When making requests, whether you are an individual contributor, manager, or even a customer–offer to provide context. This should be a crisp half-sentence at least, and a few bullet points at most. Remember no one can see your reality unless you paint it for them, so consider specifics.
Which shared goal are you working toward?
Who do you depend on to get this work done?
What limitations are you facing that we should consider?
Celebrate what’s different.
A key driver of trust is authenticity. But without the safety that repeated shared physical space can create for you, it can be incredibly challenging for people to show up as they are, especially if they represent something different than those around them.
Ask opinions early and often. Respond with appreciation, not to judge, not even to build from or make better. One of my favorite Parker Palmer methods of education is to simply say “please” when someone has something to share and “thank you” after they do.
Highlight the mess.
We are emotional creatures, and in being that, we are imperfect. We can and should assume positive intent. But assumption will never come close to the value of exploration. Don’t push the business agenda with allowance for human mess on the side. Make the mess the headline, and get the work done around it. “Mess” includes all the variety that human beings introduce. Consider just a few of these as the main course of your next meeting, not the side dish.
What do you intend to do today?
How are you feeling, physically and emotionally?
What are you facing as a caregiver?
How is your health?
What is going on in your community?
What distractions are worth our attention?
Now back to the structural assurance of human connection. Don’t just hope for it. Plan for it. Bake it into your budget. Hold time on your calendars. There is a reason you aren’t receiving paper invitations for Zoom weddings anymore. As social creatures, we crave connection during important times. Hoping your employees will experience trust and effective communication without hosting it in-person is not only futile, it’s potentially damaging to the trust others have in you as a leader.
Keep the following in mind as you create the blueprint for in-person connection within your organization:
Cadence of work
If you can get high enough in the level of strategy, you’ll notice most organizations have a rather predictable calendar of sprints and recovery. What are the seasons within your organization’s calendar? Your leadership team needs to be breathing the same oxygen, making meaningful eye contact at least once per season.
Broadening perspective
A people-first approach to innovation and efficiency trusts that each person within a team brings unique potential, likely more potential than you are currently seeing. It takes some kind of meaningful challenge or change to the daily activity to awaken that potential. You can do this with 1:1 coaching, networked conferences, facilitated retreats, or community events. Formally, your team should anticipate being challenged by a credible, trustworthy resource who works on behalf of the organization but does not adhere to the regular, daily experiences of an internal employee.
You are paying for their dedicated attention and confidentiality, so do not compare their compensation to that of your internal team. Any facilitator worth the investment will come with a price tag that reminds you of the value of focused, distraction-free connection.
When was the last time you felt known, seen, and loved all at once? Many of us can’t name a single situation. But that’s what we are aiming for when we attempt to build trust within our workplaces. Being trusted means you are understood for who you are, challenged to do slightly better at what you already do well, and supported with safety along the way.
If it can be automated, it will be. Trust and human connection cannot be, which makes prioritizing it all the more crucial as we build the world we want future generations to know as reality.
